Tales of Tubing

Out with the old, in with the new.  That is what I thought when I decided to switch insulin pumps.  I didn't do so haphazardly.   I agonized for days over the thought of dealing with a new medical device company that I hadn't had any experience with, having to order all new supplies, using a different glucometer along with a pump, dealing with a different insulin on board (IOB) feature, and basically trading in my trusty right hand man that I had used for 8 years for something new.  Then I decided to cut the cord.  Literally.

Since my old Medtronic pump was out of warranty and had been acting a little goofy during every priming session, I decided to order the Omnipod.  I was excited about the thought of not having a 23 inches of tubing connecting me to my insulin pump and instead just sticking a pod with an insulin reservoir directly on my body and controlling it with a wireless device.  Got it in the mail, scheduled a training session, bought a cute new carrying case, and BAM.  Pod on.  It was glorious, as in I didn't have to clip anything to my underwear to stay alive while I was wearing a sundress.  The pod just stuck on my lower back discreetly and I could bolus from my wireless remote now tucked into a hot pink "skin".  It was awesome until it wasn't.

Over the course of the next two weeks I had some bad pod mojo going on.  I experienced 3 pod alarms causing a terrible high pitched screaming noise that could not be quieted by the remote.  I had to put the pods in the freezer to wear down the batteries and I just remembered I forgot to tell my mother in law about one of those...  Then 2 pods leaked and needed to be ripped off and changed immediately!  All of these pod problems resulted in stubborn high blood sugars, some worse than others.  Not to mention all of the insulin that I lost!  Some I was able to suck back out of the pods, but most was not retrievable!  Those precious life saving and expensive units wasted!  With each malfunction my mood was increasingly more foul and I was stuck in the land of hyperglycemia for hours with nausea, headache, exhaustion, and even ketones.  A recipe for disaster.

I am still supposed to meet with the trainer again to replace a box of pods and swap out my PDM which is the remote control.  I am hoping this fixes whatever the problems are, though I am not too hopeful about the leaking issue being resolved.  In the past I had issues using short length needles for injections and because the cannula length on these pods is shorter than my Medtronic ones this may be contributing to my problems.  I am praying that this situation sorts itself out and I can keep the Omnipod.

Aside from my new pump and related issues, my diabetes seems to be cooperating.  Last endo visit was good.  Both my endo and CDE were happy with my control in general and tweaked a bolus rate to try to avoid some highs.  Foot exam was good.  No signs of nerve damage or vascular problems.  The only bad news was that my thyroid has gone kaput after my pregnancy.  Apparently it wanted to join my pancreas in the lazy endocrine gland section.  Seems to be my thang.  Starting some thyroid hormone ASAP.  Hopefully my energy levels improve, along with my metabolism!  Oh, how I wish I was breastfeeding again.  It was a great calorie burner.**

**Since writing this post, I have returned the Omnipod system and gone back to my trusted Medtronic pump.  I am glad I tried the Omnipod but unfortunately it just was not reliable enough for me to use as my primary pump.  The waterproof feature would have been great for summer activities and the freedom of not having tubing to worry about was great.  But blood sugar control is too important to mess around.

Back on the Horse

My first concern when I was pregnant was my blood sugar.  How is it trending?  Can I head off an impending high or low?  Is that half cup of ice cream going to make me go high 4 hours later because it was full fat?  How much active insulin is left in my body?  Did I exercise today?  How many carbs are in that carrot stick?  I could keep adding to the list that rolled through my diabetic brain at any one time every single day, but that may be a snore for some of you.  Super tight control was the goal for a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby and I worked damn hard to achieve it.

Well you can guess what happen after E was born.

Suddenly I was not number one anymore.  Her needs came before mine.  Thinking back, there was a period of time when I barely managed to get anything to eat or drink let alone change an infusion set or Dexcom sensor.  However I was nursing so I was still putting in considerable effort to keep my blood sugar stable.  There are no studies to suggest that hyperglycemia in a breastfeeding mother leads to "sweetened" breast milk, but I figured if milk was being made from my body then all systems should be in tip-top shape.  So while my control was not as great as when I was pregnant, it was still pretty good.
Eventually I switched from nursing to giving E soy formula.  At that point my blood sugars began rising pretty consistently.  It was evident that nursing had been using a lot of calories.  To compensate for my slowing metabolism I had to increase my basal rates to try to get my blood sugars down.  They are now set to almost twice the rate as compared to when I was nursing.  During this time I sort of fell off the horse a little.  I ate foods that I would never have eaten while pregnant and never gave a thought to prebolusing for a meal.  Despite the highs that resulted from some of these choices, my 3 month postpartum hemoglobin A1c was still under 7%.  A small victory.  I am glad the results were considered "good" but it just doesn't sit right with me now that I've seen how tightly I can control my blood sugar.  Is it work?  Yes.  Is it worth it?  Absolutely.  I feel much better when my blood sugar is more stable throughout the day.

Now that things have settled into more of a routine with E, I am back to paying more attention to my blood.  I am actually using the CGM like I should be instead of turning off alarms or setting ridiculously high limits so that I won't be bothered by any beeps.  I have started prebolusing for some meals and am trying to cut back on carbs once again.  After seeing Awesome Endo and tweaking some basal and bolus rates my pump settings seem to be doing their thing.  Pretty soon I hope to add regular exercise back into the routine and hopefully by my next visit I can lower my A1c back into a more comfortable range for me.  In order to take care of my daughter I need to take care of myself.

Life with E is much different but much sweeter in many ways! ;)  I love her so much and I hope I can set a good example for her about how important it is to take care of your health!

New Normal

I can't believe how time flies with little E.  Today was my first day back to work and I was dreading leaving her all day!  She was in my mom's loving hands, but not it mine.  Sometimes after I put her to bed I miss her and actually look forward to picking her up for her night feeding.  Sounds sick for a new mom, right?  Believe me, not every day is like that.  As in I have ignored the whimpering on the monitor for as long as possible before dragging myself out of bed to avoid screams.  I have wished for an hour when I could take a shower [everyday] without dragging a bouncer into the bathroom only to get out of the tub with a head full of shampoo to soothe an overwrought baby.  I have sadly mastered how to eat breakfast without getting toast crumbs in E's hair because I am usually holding her during all mealtimes while B is at work.

I used to take going to the store for granted. Grocery shopping is now a treat to get out of the house.  It used to be so easy to run an errand which now requires planning and may not happen at all until someone is available to watch E.  Since it's been subzero degrees and E is so little I can't imagine getting her all bundled up just to pick up some Q-tips and a bag of marshmallows.

Regardless of these lifestyle changes, my love for E only grows.  One look at her smiling face erases the tiredness from the night before.  The smell of her head and the feel of her silky smooth hair on my cheek when I'm holding her melts my stress away.  Her beautiful blue eyes are ridiculous.  And when the tears fall from them, they nearly fall from my own.  Everyday I am more in love.  It is so fun learning about what makes her tick.  Seeing the changes and developments in her is so amazing.  My recent favorite is her "talking".  She will have conversations with us that are shockingly long.  And she loves looking in the mirror.  She is growing leaps and bounds and waiting for no one.

Having a child has changed me in many ways.  I worry more.  At the same time that I worry, I realize that I cannot control everything no matter how much I want to.  I can't prevent her from getting sick, or being tired when she refuses sleep.  I may not be able to help ease her bellyache.  I have to relinquish control and just accept that life is going to happen to her.  She's going to be uncomfortable or upset or hurt and sometimes I can't prevent it or help it.  Sometimes all I can do is hold her close and let her cry. And so I do.  So I do.

The New Year

2013 is going to be hard to beat.  B and I found out I was pregnant and I had little E all within those 365 days.  It was a lot of work when I think back on it.  In fact it seems like I never could have done it.  But I did and she's here and it's wonderful!  2014 will bring many more happy moments and discoveries.  It already has brought about changes that make me smile.

-The wine rack above the microwave doesn't really hold any wine currently, but it does hold 3 cans of soy formula.

-Every room of the house has some baby related item in it.  Every. Room.

-A baby smile can make you smile even if you are exhausted.

-Baby fashion is awesome.

-Being home on New Year's Eve doesn't feel lame now.  It feels awesome!

-There's nothing cuter than a daddy with his daughter.

-I am used to packing up my own diabetes stuff before leaving the house.  Now I can pack a pretty mean diaper bag. 

-I feel like I have entered The Mom Club.  The club where moms comment on and like other moms' facebook pics of their kids, even if they have not spoken themselves in years.  It's like the Jeep nod or something like that. But I like it.  Hopefully we can keep the mom jeans out of the mix though.

Happy New Year!!!!!